Filthy Desire Page 8

  “No, Sir.”

  “Am I asking your permission to do so?”

  “No, Sir.”

  “Will you refuse the gifts I choose to give you?”

  “No, Sir.”

  “Good, then get your butt into the kitchen, make me a coffee and some breakfast.” She hesitates, not moving. “Is there a problem?”

  “No, Sir.”

  “Then off you go.”

  Silently she stands, stretches once more, elongating her back with her arms above her head. There’s a sensual curve to the way she’s standing; it makes me want her even more.

  She leaves and within seconds I can hear her in the kitchen. I get out of bed and go take care of business before breakfast. And by business I mean I jack off to thoughts of me fingering Ella’s ass, and the lovely way her breathing changes while she’s moaning and pressing herself into me.

  “What are we doing today?” Ella asks as she bounces into my study.

  “I’m taking you out. I need to take the Cobra out for a drive, and you’re coming with me. But we’re making a couple of pit stops first.”

  “You said you wanted to buy me something.”

  “That’s right.” I look back at my computer and close down the windows.

  “You know,” she starts meekly, “you don’t really have to get me anything.” Receiving a gift is still something she struggles with. I’ve noticed most women tend to reject gifts when they think they’re not worthy of them. In my experience with women, they’ve been pre-conditioned to be the nurturer and care-giver, and be selfless in the way they conduct themselves. How ridiculous. A woman should be treated like a woman. She should be cared for and cherished. But in the bedroom she should be taken, bent, and brought to her absolute limit before being fucked until she can barely move. Ella’s been fucked, but not in a way that made her feel good about herself. The predator she was with broke her spirit, destroyed her self-esteem, and exploited her for his own profit. And now, I’m taking it as my own personal mission to ensure Ella discovers her own innate strength and develops her own voice.

  Keeping my voice light, I turn to Ella, “I know I don’t have to. End of conversation.” I kiss her, first, because I want to, and second, to shut her up. She’s got her hair up in a messy bun, and she’s looking beautiful since she’s put a few pounds on.

  The kiss is soft, but soon her fingers tangle in my hair, she begins to pull me closer and she pushes her hips into my semi-hard cock. “Ella,” I groan around her mouth. I can feel my own desperation growing. I’m hungry, my tongue stroking hers, my kiss becoming fevered as I lose myself and instinctively begin to selfishly take what I want from her. “Later,” I say as I move her away from me. It’s a promise I’m looking forward to keeping.

  I pull away and notice her eyes were closed; she was lost in the kiss. I run my hands up and down her bare arms just waiting for her to open her eyes. She does, and for a second she looks ashamed and guilty. “Sorry,” she says as a pretty pink flush touches her cheeks.

  “Is that a real apology?”

  She smiles coyly and shakes her head. “I’m not sorry,” she corrects.

  “Good, because neither am I. Anyway, let’s get going.” Linking our fingers together, I lead us out to the elevator and call it, waiting for it to arrive.

  “Can you give me a hint as to what you’re buying me?”

  “Hmmm, that’s a fair request. I’m buying something which will be beneficial to us both.”

  She crinkles her mouth and frowns, clearly thinking about what ‘it’ can be. “Another hint?” she asks, hopeful.

  “No more hints.” The elevator arrives and we walk in. When the doors close I can’t help but look at the expression on her face. It’s quite funny really, it’s somewhere between ‘what’s he buying me now?’ to ‘I hope it’s good.’ I chuckle and shake my head.

  “What’s so funny?” she asks defensively as her eyes harden.

  “You. The way you look is amusing.”

  She lets go of my hand and tries to smooth down her hair. “I can change. We’re not at the car yet.”

  “Your appearance is fine. It’s the cute look on your face. Almost like you’re excited but scared at the same time.”

  “I kind of am.”

  “Why? I’ve given you no reason to be frightened, have I?”

  “No, you haven’t,” she says softly, her brown eyes falling to her feet. I crook my finger beneath her chin and lift her face toward mine.

  “Then don’t stress it. I promise you, it’s something we’ll both enjoy.”

  She takes a deep breath and shrugs her shoulders, “Okay. I believe you, Matt.”

  “About this whole ‘Matt’ thing.”

  “That’s your name.”

  “No, it’s Matthew. Not Matt, not Matty, no other variation of it.”

  She shrugs her shoulders again, “Oh well, I like ‘Matt’,” she challenges.

  I’ll let it slide, like I have been doing ever since she invaded my life. Although she likely doesn’t realize it, her willingness to displease me is a small step toward regaining her independence.

  The elevator door pings open, indicating we’re in the garage level. “Come on,” I say leading her to the Cobra and pointing to the front end of the canvas cover. “Grab the other side.” Ella does, and we drag the car cover back to reveal my sweet ride.

  “Wow, that’s a nice car.” Ella stands back, admiring the love of my life.

  “Yep, she is.”

  “I kinda feel intimidated to get into it.”

  I open her door and wait for her to climb in. “Don’t. You’ll look sexy surrounded by all that leather.” I wink and she smiles brightly.

  Ella gets in and I walk around to the driver’s side. When I get in, I start her up and listen to the rich grumble of the engine as it idles, waiting to be driven. The throaty engine vibrates the entire car. The deep rumble sounds so perfect and heavy it will turn heads as it approaches.

  Pulling out of the garage, I navigate toward our first stop. It’s a good half-hour ride and Ella sits in silence staring out the window. “Are you okay?” I ask, breaking her out of the pensive state she’s in.

  “I was just thinking.”

  “About what?”

  “I really don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t given me a chance. I’ve been running since I was twenty, and I’m tired. I just want to stop looking over my shoulder and not worry about him anymore.” I glance over to her, and notice for the first time the dark rings embedded under her eyes.

  “I won’t let anything happen to you. You know that, right?” I move my right hand to rest on her thigh, gently squeezing it to reinforce my words.

  “I know you’ll try. But one day, I’ll have to leave you too.”

  “Why?”

  “Because he’ll find me and either kill me or take me back.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “He used to tell me if I ran, when he’d caught me, he’d make me hurt. But truthfully, I don’t know how much more he could do to me.” She lets out a humorless laugh. She’s building her walls again.

  “Hey,” I grip her leg again. “You’re safe.”

  “I know.”

  The rest of the ride is spent in silence. My brain has gone into overdrive, trying to figure out how to get her to tell me his identity. I want to find this guy. It’s what I need to do to protect her and support her. She needs to talk to someone, and by someone I mean a professional, not an arrogant, domineering prick needing to control her when she finally offers up her surrender. She needs someone who can look at things objectively and reassure her she’s safe.

  Those thoughts have been with me for a few weeks, but once I approach the parking garage, they instantly get pushed to the back of my mind.

  “We’re here,” I say. I turn the car off, get out, and go around to open her door.

  “Huh?” She looks at the glass store front, dragging her eyes across ‘Adult Store’ several times b
efore looking over to me. “You brought me to a sex shop?”

  “Exactly.” I take her hand and start stepping toward the entrance.

  “It’s a sex shop,” she says, and hesitates.

  “Yes, I know. And I’m so glad you can read. Now, let’s go inside.”

  “Why?”

  “Because we’re going to buy things you’ll enjoy.”

  She hesitantly leans into me and whispers, “I’m sure everything in that shop has been used on me, and I never enjoyed any of it.”

  “I know, kitten, which is why we’re here. We’re going to see what there is, and we’re going to decide on things together. And if there’s something you don’t want, then we don’t get it.”

  “I’m not really sure about this.”

  “I am, so that’s the plan.”

  She takes an obvious, calming breath. Her eyes go to the lettering of the store, then back to me. I give her time to adjust to the notion and although she won’t embrace it, she has to go in there with me. Because I want it, and I know once the curtain of uncertainty lifts, she’ll want it too. “Okay. If you think it’s a good idea, Matt.”

  I lean over and kiss her cheek. “I do.” Then I suck her earlobe into my mouth, teasing her with the promise of a reward. “Let’s go,” I add, once I feel her body relax into me.

  I push the door open and usher her inside with my hand at the small of her back. The store is a reasonable size, divided into three aisles. “Is there anything you had in mind?” she asks, her tone so quiet.

  “Yes, a vibrator, a butt plug, and a flogger.”

  “Whip?” she almost cries.

  “No a flogger. It’s different. It’s softer than a whip. But we’re going to pick things out together.” I see her swallow hard, her eyes desperately pleading with me to walk out and forget this idea. “Come on. Let’s look at floggers.”

  “Hi, can I help you?” a young, female voice asks.

  Both Ella and I turn to see a young woman, maybe around Ella’s age standing on this side of the sales counters, smiling at us. She’s really pretty. Her blonde hair is pulled back into a ponytail. She’s wearing trendy, black-rimmed glasses and is dressed in a light blue sundress.

  “Yes, can you show us your selection of bondage toys, please? More specifically floggers.”

  “Sure, they’re this way. Is there a specific type of flogger you have in mind? Maybe one from leather, horsehair, or deer hide. Of course they’re not so hard core. If you want pain, you should be looking at a whip or a cane. But our selection is here.”

  Ella’s eyes light up as we walk the length of the shop and step into a darkened room. It fits the theme of bondage, there’s an array of toys starting from silken floggers to full bullwhips. I see Ella shudder when her eye catches the bullwhip, and she steps back to be behind me. “Show us your tamer floggers,” I ask the young lady.

  “This one is a huge hit,” she stops and chuckles, “pun intended, with our female customers.” She picks up a black flogger and hands it to Ella. Ella shakes her head and looks to me. “It’s really gentle, it won’t bruise or cut. It’s for sensation play, so it won’t leave any permanent marks. I enjoy it when it’s used on me. It’s more for fun than punishment. If you’re looking to punish…” she heads over to the whips.

  “No punishment. I have my own methods for that.”

  “Very well, Sir. There’s also…”

  The flogger feels pleasant in my hand. The length of the tresses are nice and the weight of the handle seems right for me. “Ella?” I try to hand her the flogger and she shakes her head at me. This whole ‘we’ll decide on these together’ is clearly not going to work. So I take control. “No need. This one will do. Now show me your collection of Lelo products.”

  The sales girl smiles at me, “Sir, I’m impressed you know brands.” I smile at Ella and while she’s holding my hand tightly, she remains quiet and follows. “This is the entire Lelo line. They continuously bring out new products, and we stock almost everything they sell. Lelo products are another best seller here.”

  “We’ll have that and that.” I point to Hula Beads with a remote control, and a rabbit-style vibrator.

  “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

  “A butt plug. One of those with the jewel on the end. Small in size, but I’ll also take the next size up too.”

  “Yes, Sir. Here they are, which would you like?”

  “Ella, what’s your favorite color?”

  Ella looks at me, then back down at the display of butt plugs. “Green, please.”

  I turn to the sales assistant. “You heard the lady.”

  She takes two butt plugs out, and turns to me. “Anything else, Sir?” she sweetly asks as she gives a comforting smile to Ella.

  “No, those items will do, thank you.”

  She takes our selections and goes to the cash register to ring up the total. I hand my credit card over and pay for them, while Ella remains quiet.

  When we go out to the car, I open her door then place the bags in the trunk of the car. I get in and start on the next leg of our day together.

  “I thought we were going to decide together,” she says.

  “You froze, so I took care of it. But you did choose the color.”

  “You shut me out.”

  “You refused to touch the flogger.”

  “They scare me, but the other things look like…fun,” she almost whispers the word ‘fun’.

  “Well, you should have spoken up. You didn’t so I had to make the decision, and I did. When we go home, I may use one or more of those on you tonight.”

  “Okay,” she says once we’re on the highway and heading to our second destination.

  “Good. Now, I hope you’re hungry.”

  Twelve

  “Where are we going?” Ella asks as she looks out the window.

  “Somewhere.”

  I find a parking spot out the front of a deli not far from our destination.

  “We’re going to ‘Momma J’s Deli’?”

  “No, I’m going to Momma J’s Deli; you’re waiting in the car.” I lean over and give her a quick kiss on the lips before I get out of the car. When I get inside, it’s quite busy and there are a few ladies serving.

  I wait in line until it’s my turn. “What can I get you, young man?” The statement makes me smile, because the woman serving has got to be in her sixties and looks to be as sharp as they come.

  “Ham and cheese on rye with mustard, turkey with lettuce, tomato and mayo on a hard roll. Two bottles of water and a pint each of potato salad and pasta salad.” She goes about making the sandwiches like an expert and within a few moments I’m walking out the door with two plastic bags of food.

  I slide into the car and give the bags to Ella to hold. “What’s in the bag?” she asks.

  “Food.”

  “I can see that, but what type of food.”

  “You’ll have to wait and see.”

  I pull out into the street and continue on our way. Ella’s pretending she’s not looking in the bags, though she is. But after about ten minutes she gives up and starts to look outside again. Another fifteen minutes, and we hit the parking lot of the beach and I round to her side to open her door.

  “You brought me to the beach?” I hold her hand as she extends her legs and lifts herself out of the car.

  “I did. And bring the food.”

  “Why? I’ll never wear a swimsuit or anything where people might see my…” She looks around her to see if anyone’s near, “scars,” she whispers to me although there’s no one here.

  The sun is high up in the sky. It’s nice and balmy, right around the seventy-degree mark. Not quite hot enough to swim in the water, but warm enough for the spray to feel refreshing when it finds our bare skin.

  “Nonsense, that’s ridiculous. My only concern is you’re way too thin. Take your shoes off and let your toes feel the sand.”

  Ella bends to take off her sandals, and throws them int
o the car before I close the door and lock it.

  I take the bags with food from her and link our fingers. We walk toward a spot that seems relatively isolated. It’s not really busy here, maybe only half a dozen or so people on the beach.

  “Sit,” I tell her when we find the perfect location to watch the waves as we have our lunch.

  “But I’ll get sand all over me.”

  “It’s only sand, Ella. It won’t hurt you.”

  “I know, but I don’t want to carry it back to your car.” She plonks her cute little ass on the sand and I sit beside her.

  “Here,” I say as I take everything out of the plastic bags and open them up, laying them on the sand to keep our food clean and creating our own personal smorgasbord to enjoy.

  Ella picks up half a turkey sandwich and begins to eat it, though I can tell by the distant, lost look on her face her mind isn’t here with me. “I haven’t been to the beach in a long, long time. Not to sit and enjoy it, anyway.”

  “Is that right?” I take a bite of the ham sandwich.

  “I came to the beach when I first got away from Scott. I’d go from beach to beach at night to sleep in my car.” I listen carefully. So his name is Scott. “It used to calm me, the sound of the waves in the dead of night. I’d jolt awake in a sweat, panicking, and the waves kinda…well, they kinda calmed me.” She stops and looks over at me. “Sounds stupid, right?”

  “Not at all.” I grab a bottle of water and hand it to her. She opens it and takes a sip.

  “For the first few weeks I barely slept. I’d be in the driver’s seat, sitting upright, doors locked and windows shut, no matter how hot it was, ready to start the car and go at a moment’s notice in case he found me. My mind would eventually let the rhythms of the ocean lull me to sleep. Soon it became like music, like an orchestra playing only for me. I felt like the sea was keeping me safe, wrapping me in her kindness and protecting me.”

  “I’d like to kill him.”

  Ella looks at me in confusion, not understanding my non sequitur. Her mind was nowhere near here. She was transported far from here, lost in her memories. I’ll let her go and keep listening, because I may just find out enough about this ‘Scott’ guy to send my own crew after him.