Filthy Desire Read online

  “You’ve already done enough with – everything.”

  Her beautiful eyes continue to be haunted by the past. I’ll have to convince her to concentrate on the future. It’s the only thing she needs to think about. “It’s not open for negotiation, period. I know you’ve had a shower already, but once I get off the phone with Brandon, I’m drawing you a bath. You’ll put music on and relax.”

  “Do you ever speak in any other way?”

  I feel my brows furrow together. “What do you mean?”

  “It’s always in the definitive – do this, do that, you will. There’s never a question, just a statement.”

  “I make no apologies for the man I am. You’ll simply need to adjust. And learn to trust I’ll never hurt you.”

  She smiles as she stands, “I think I’ve already adjusted.” She chuckles, slides her t-shirt back on, and walks away.

  I’ve already seen her, so why is she covering herself? What the hell does that mean?

  Ten

  Ella’s lying on her stomach, legs up and crossed at the ankles. Her left hand is tilted so she’s holding her head up while she watches the chick flick she picked. I sit in my arm chair, nursing a tumbler of scotch and just watch her. Taking in how her body seems relaxed as she settles into a more comfortable sense of security.

  Her eyes are wide open, entranced by the characters on the screen who are engaged in a scene of lust and passion.

  Ella licks her lips, and I see her visibly gulp – hard. She shifts her body slightly and I can tell her body is reacting to what I call a tame sex scene on the screen.

  I enjoy observing her, watching how her cheeks flush and her shoulders rise and fall quickly. Her thighs tighten and I know right now I could probably hold her and convince her to let me do what I want to her. But even though from all appearances her body is horny, I know her mind isn’t ready. Not even two hours earlier, she was showing me her scars and ready to run.

  She turns and catches me watching her. I bring my tumbler up to my lips and slowly take a sip. My eyes are glued to her, and her own darken with lust as she returns my gaze. Ella shifts her position. She twists and sits back on her heels. I lower my glass, and feel my eyebrow arch as I watch Ella and wonder what she’s trying to communicate to me.

  I want to be buried inside her, to have her kneel before me as I fist her hair and have her take my cock in her mouth, right down to my balls, caressing it with her lips. I want her to deep throat me, for her eyes to be glued to mine while her fingers slide into her own wet slit.

  “Matt,” she breathes, barely holding on to her control.

  “Ella,” I retort, knowing full well what she’s going to ask me to do.

  “Please – just please.”

  “Please what?”

  “You know what I want.” She brings her hands up to her knees, palm side up. It’s a classic display of submission. She’s voluntarily giving herself to me.

  “Tell me,” I command her.

  She lowers her eyes, breaking the intense, sexy bond we were sharing.

  “I can’t.”

  “Never lower your eyes away from me. They’re way too expressive and beautiful to waste looking at the floor.” She looks up at me. “Stand.” Ella gracefully gets to her feet.

  I’m stuck between what I should do and what I want to do. She’s not ready to have sex; she said so herself earlier, and I know if I fuck her now, she’ll regret it. But it’s my role as her protector and later hopefully, as her Dominant, to find a way to give her what she wants and protect her at the same time. She wants me to dominate her. To take her mind, her worries, and her troubles and free her from all of them.

  “Strip,” I say. The tone of my voice drops, my own body coming alive. Ella silently removes all her clothes and drops them to the floor. “Fold them and put them on the table.” She’s sexy, elegant, and poised in the fluid way her body moves. Her scars seem to disappear, erased by her grace.

  Ella turns and stands in front of me. Her pussy is perfectly waxed, her lips completely free of hair. Her tits are small, smaller than my hand, though her nipples are large and a pretty pink color. The perfect hue. My cock is straining against my jeans as I imagine the feeling of her wet pussy gripping me and never letting me go.

  “Come stand in front of me.”

  “Yes, Sir,” she says with a sigh. Is that a sigh of relief or resignation?

  She takes three steps to me, her bare toes touching my shoed feet. “Feet hip-width apart.” She moves into position as I command her. Her pussy is in front of my face. A drop of moisture from her cunt rolls down her thigh. A second drop joins the first and Ella’s body is on high alert.

  “Tell me your safe words.”

  Momentarily her breath hitches. “I’ve never had one before.”

  “Your safe words are red to stop, yellow for me to slow down and check you, and green for me to keep going.” I’ll need to push her, to get her to her breaking point so she realizes she’s in charge here. But right now, she just needs a release, and to trust I’ll look after her.

  “Yes, Sir.”

  “Repeat them to me.” I won’t touch her until I hear her say the words.

  “Red, yellow, and green. Please, Sir, please just fuck me.”

  “No. I won’t touch you until you tell me your safe words without rushing.” She tries to close her legs, obviously clenching her pussy trying to gain some friction.

  “Pl-pl-please,” she begs.

  “I’ll give you exactly what you want, as soon as you tell me your safe words.”

  “Green is good, yellow is slow and red is st-st-st…” She can’t even say the word stop. She’s most likely had it beaten out of her. But I refuse to touch her if I can’t trust her to safe word if she needs to.

  “Red is,” I pause and wait for her to answer.

  “Stop, Sir.”

  “Say it again.”

  “Red is stop, Sir.”

  “Good, my little kitten. Now come and sit on my lap, facing me.” I move to accommodate her tall, skinny, and scarred body. “Put your arms around my neck, one leg up on the arm of the chair and the other leg on the floor.”

  She’s sitting on me, with her legs totally open, exposing her mouth-watering pussy to me. My left arm encircles her waist, and I gently and carefully drum my fingertips up her left leg. She lets out a small mewl, her body alight for me. “I like to hear your voice, you’re permitted to moan.”

  “Thank you, Sir.”

  “Keep your eyes on mine. You’re not permitted to look away or close them.”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  My fingers touch her glistening pussy. Her lips are already drenched and she automatically slides forward when I touch her entrance to move my fingers inside her.

  “Don’t be a naughty kitty.”

  “Yes, Sir,” she groans and slides back to where she was sitting.

  I skate a finger inside her and find just how wet she is. I move my thumb to hover over her clit. I can see it’s plump, engorged, poking out from beneath the hood, waiting for me to manipulate it in whatever way I choose. But tonight I can’t be greedy. This is about Ella and what she needs. She has to feel safe here, and this is my first step in earning her trust. She needs to know beyond any doubt, no one will ever be allowed to fuck her against her will here. Tonight, I need her to know she can be fucked while being treasured. That this is the way a woman should be treated, and this is how I will treat her.

  My thumb lightly rubs her clit, teasing her as I slip another finger into her ravenous, greedy hole. I feel her tighten hungrily around my fingers as she struggles to keep her eyes open. Small, sexy, feral sounds are emanating from deep in her chest. Ella’s hips rotate on their own; I can tell she’s trying to hold her pleasure back. Her eyes are black with lust. I can imagine what she’s seeing in me, my own filthy desire to lick every inch of her reflected in her eyes. To rim her perfect ass, to make her quake with desperation, to have her pussy clench while I fuck her with my mout
h and fingers. I want her like no other woman I’ve ever wanted before.

  “Sir,” a sensual tone oozes from her pouty, fuckable lips.

  “Not yet, my beautiful sub.” I won’t give her permission to come yet, because when she comes I want her to be exhausted, completely sated so no terrible memories have a chance to haunt her.

  My thumb applies more pressure as I move it in small circles. I add a third finger into her trembling hole. Ella’s hungry eyes are open, silently begging me to allow her to come. Her hips rub against me, her nipples tighten and goosebumps cover her chest.

  “Please,” she begs again. “I don’t think I can….ooohhh.” A deep groan overtakes her words.

  “Nearly there, my little kitten. Nearly there.” I move my head and my mouth latches on to her right nipple, twirling my tongue around it as it elongates in my mouth. I clamp down and pull with my teeth.

  “Oh, God. Yes, please.”

  My fingers are thoroughly coated, her cum running down my wrist, soaking through my jeans. But I don’t give a damn. I need her to feel this raw energy we’re sharing, to know I’m in control of it and it’s intended for her pleasure. I harden my circular motions on her clit, pull on her nipple and curl my fingers inside her cunt, all at the same moment. “Come,” I say around her tit.

  Ella cries out, her hips violently gyrating against my fingers. Her body wriggles against my hard-on and she heaves deep breaths trying to regain control of her body.

  “You’re stunning,” I say as I bring her mouth to mine. I reward her with a kiss, but nothing deep, because I won’t be able to contain myself if I kiss her the way I want to.

  I pull away from our kiss, and bring the fingers that were inside her to my lips. I lick them, savoring her tangy taste, enjoying it, because this is the only taste I’ll allow myself to have.

  “Please,” she gets off my lap, though her legs are unsteady. She goes to her knees and begins to unzip my jeans.

  “What are you doing?” I ask as I shift in my seat.

  “Thanking you for giving me an orgasm. Would you prefer to fuck me? Or maybe you want to fuck my ass.”

  “Stand,” I say in a stern tone I know will make her obey. “Stay where you are.” I get up and go into the bathroom, starting a bath as she waits for me in the family room.

  I hate to think what her life was like, what they did to her to make her think she has to do something for me as payment for her pleasure.

  I wait until the bathtub is half-full, add some of her girly bubble bath shit into it, and go get Ella.

  I notice when I’m a few steps from her, she’s standing exactly where I left her. “Follow me,” I say to her, still in my role as her Dom.

  “Are you going to hurt me, Sir?” she asks, skeptical. There’s a hint of terror in her voice.

  “Do not speak,” I say angrily. “Your talking privileges have been revoked.” I lead her to the bathroom. “Stay there.” She’s standing just inside the door, looking at the floor again. I roll my shirt sleeves up, duck my hand into the bath and check the temperature. “Come here.” She silently comes to me. I hold my hand out to her, and guide her into the tub. “Relax.” She settles in and closes her eyes.

  I go to the shower and get her pink poufy thing and her body wash. Squirting body wash on the poufy thing, I dunk it under the water and begin to gently wash Ella’s body. Her shoulders are tight and haven’t relaxed yet, so I keep washing her body. But I’m careful not to touch her pussy. Instead, in slow languid motions, I glide the poof over her entire front except for her erogenous zones. I want this to be soothing for her, for her brain to understand and accept that I expect nothing in return.

  The more my hands touch her, I see her shoulders loosen until her eyes close, her head lolls back and she simply enjoys the experience.

  “Sit forward,” I say, in a gentle voice. As Ella sits up, the bubbles from the bath slip down her body. She hugs her knees and finally, is totally relaxed. “Ella, we need to talk about what happened.”

  “This feels nice. I’ve never had anyone do anything like this for me before,” she purrs, obviously appreciating it, although deflecting from the issue on hand.

  “I want this to happen with us.”

  “So do I, but I feel terrible I didn’t get you off.”

  “Did I ask you to?”

  “No.”

  “Then why do you feel terrible?”

  “Because you gave me a gift and I wasn’t able to return it.”

  I keep softly rubbing her back, trying to hold on to my anger.

  “Am I your Dom?” It’s not really a question. I ask it so she realizes that’s my relationship to her. A statement, posed as a question.

  Ella’s quiet. “I want you to be.”

  “When you give yourself to me, you need to let me take control. It’s not your job to worry about me; it’s mine to ensure you’re okay.”

  “But…”

  “There’s no ‘but’ here, Ella.”

  “It’s just hard for me not to worry.”

  “Are you worried I haven’t come, or that I’ll beat you because I haven’t come?” I emphasize the word ‘because’, though I’m in control and have not allowed the anger to spill from me. My fury is directed to the animals who hurt her, not at Ella. She remains quiet. “I asked you a question and you know how much I hate repeating myself.”

  “I don’t want you to hurt me.”

  “Then all you have to do is listen to me, obey me, and you’ll be rewarded. I allowed you to come, as I fingered your gorgeous, wet pussy. And I’ll give you more pleasure when you’re ready for it. You have to trust me.”

  Again she goes quiet. Then slowly, she turns to look at me over her shoulder. Her eyes are bright with desire, and her face looks perfectly content from being finger-fucked. “I gave you my trust the night I came here.”

  I take in a deep breath as my eyes keep looking at her serene features, “Let me lead you, Ella.”

  A bolt of electricity zaps up her spine as her shoulders shudder and shake. “Yes,” she says in a breathy voice.

  Eleven

  I moved Ella into my room that night. It’s easier to keep an eye on her, and to ensure she knows she can trust me. Every night she kneels beside the bed and waits for my command. It’s not something I want her to do, but for now, I allow it. I notice how calm she is when she gets into bed with me. If it’s something that will keep her centered, I’ll let her keep doing it.

  Last week she had her period, so any sort of touching was out of the question. Not because I find the natural functions of a woman disgusting, but because Ella told me when she was with the banker, even when she had her period, he’d allow his clients/friends to fuck her, and she hated it. It embarrassed her and reinforced the fact she had no control over her body.

  We haven’t had sex yet. Not because I don’t want her, but because of the way her body tenses when I use my Dom voice on her. I’ve fingered her again, enjoyed her as she quaked around my fingers, loved the sounds of her feral moaning as she quivered and I held her tight against me. I massaged her ass one night, and she begged me to fuck her tight hole.

  I used the moisture of her pussy, sliding my fingers inside her to coat them before I moved to play with her ass. Her groaning told me she wanted me to do more. As my fingers entered her ass, I waited for her to adjust, the muscles giving way so she could relax and enjoy what I was doing to her. “More,” she whimpered, grinding her incredibly small butt onto my hand.

  “Lay still,” I ordered her. The erotic, sexy noises coming from her were ripping straight through to my cock.

  When her moaning turned wild, her breathing became savage. She had her jaw clenched tight, and I allowed her to come. Instantly her body erupted in a violent tremor. Her body’s thirst had been quenched, though her mind remained on high alert. I could tell she was fighting the conditioning she’d been forced to endure for all the years she was tortured and abused. Her eyebrows knit together and I could see her brain arg
uing with itself.

  I made no effort to look away or pretend I wasn’t watching.

  The confusion inside her mind seemed to last just under an hour. She finally defeated her conditioning, rolled over, and went to sleep. Throughout the entire night though, she tossed and turned, and I knew the battle hadn’t been permanently won.

  My arms didn’t leave her. I didn’t want her to think for one moment that her preconditioning was the right thing to feel. She needed to learn she had control over her own body, and to trust I was not going to let anything bad happen to her.

  As I lie in bed, one arm behind my head and Ella asleep with her head pillowed on my chest, I can’t help but think just how far she’s come. I know she’ll need more time and patience because ultimately, she needs to trust in herself, to find her own power before she can willingly give it to me.

  “Hmmm,” she moans as her leg hooks over my thigh. My morning wood would love to be sucked right now, but of course, until I know she’s ready, I’ll have to continue jacking off in the shower. Something I’ve been doing a lot more of since Ella moved into my apartment.

  A brilliant idea comes to me, and now I can’t wait for Ella to wake. To hell with that, she can wake up now. “Hey, sleepy head. I’m hungry,” I say as I slap her cute little butt.

  “Okay,” she sighs as she stretches beside me.

  “C’mon, get dressed. We’re going out. I’m buying you something.”

  “I don’t need anything else, Matt. Will you quit spending your money on me? I’ll have to be your housekeeper until the day I stop breathing, and then I’ll probably still owe you money.”

  “Ella.” I lower my tone. It holds warning but it’s also the voice which will make her quiver.

  “Yes, Sir.” She sits bolt upright in bed. Her scarred back to me, her head lowered.

  “Is it your concern how I choose to spend my money?”